What if K doesn't come back home? What if she cant? What will that look like? feel like? I had what felt like a panic attack when I was getting ready for bed. What if nothing works out how I thought it would? I love S and K and no decision seems right. I tried to not think about it and push it down but man did the cork in that fly off tonight! I feel so out of control and hurt and mad but, there is nothing I can do about it. I feel so overwhelmed by everything tonight family wise. I hardly worry about going to class tomorrow because it seems so insignificant compared to my family.
My little sister's are starting kindergarten tomorrow and I wont see either of them for it. And that may seem like a small thing but for me it is kick in the chest. I am so proud of both of them and wish I could be there to see them off, but I cant. If anything I would see one of them and that just doesn't seem right.
Its really late right now and I have class tomorrow. Although I dont care I would rather not look like a zombie and have enough sleep to hold myself together till after my classes. Good night everyone! Prayers for me and my family are so appreciated!